Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
