I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
