i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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