sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
