Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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