Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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