i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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