it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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