So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
