I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
