Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sext me about skeletons
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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