Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
