I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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