Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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