my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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