Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
