Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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