I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
