my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
