I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
