Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Farmville is her only friend.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
