Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize