I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
