So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
