You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
