I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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