you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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