Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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