Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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