i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
