U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he shaved USA in his pubs
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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