The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Will exercising make me less horny?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
