If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.