i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage