i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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