Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.