I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize