i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
