I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
