if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
