Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
