u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You were trust falling into bushes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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