I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
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i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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