i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
