tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
