Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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