did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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