I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So much Jack, so little girl.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
