turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
