Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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