She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
