It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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