I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
