I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
