Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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