Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This is the high leading the old right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
