Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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