Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
