I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
