she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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