To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
