I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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