I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
