it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
