There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
