idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize