My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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