Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
