just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
