Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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