Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize