Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You work out of a Hotel?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
