Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
